*slides $10 to the government* please cancel school
Today at Walmart I saw a little kid pick up a penny off the ground and swallow it. The creatures you find at Walmart…
Isn’t it kinda cool that some species have sex while flying
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels*
and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda*
REASONS TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE:
- why the fuck do you need reasons just be nice to people omfg
im fucking crYIN G omfg
I will NEVER not reblog this. ONE OF THE BEST SNL SKITS THEY HAVE EVER DONE!!!
this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day
There are two types of people in this world.
And apparently Blink-182 are both.
Sometimes I think you love me. Sometimes I think you like me. Other times, I think I’m nobody to you. Yeah, this sucks.